Real Versus Love Infatuation by Margaret Paul, Ph. D.
In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love, you want the other person.~Margaret Anderson
Real love is neverownership, only stewardship of this moment’s experiences. ~Karen Casey
I love the quote by Margaret Anderson. However, I would add that in real love you also want your own good as well as the other person’s good. When you are supporting your own and the other person’s highest good, you never need to possess the other person. You want to sharelove with your beloved, rather than get love through owning the other person.
There is nothing controlling about real love—it supports your own and your partners’ freedom. In contrast, infatuation is often jealous and possessive, coming from fear of loss. ‘Love’ that comes from fear is not love—it is neediness. Infatuation comes from inner emptiness and expects the other person to fill the empty place that comes from self-abandonment. Read more